Know What You Deserve!

One of the important parts of loving yourself is that you respect yourself. The relationships you have with friends, loved ones, and significant others is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Take a minute and think about the details of your relationships and question "Does this person care about me equally as much as I care about them?", "If I stopped putting in effort into the relationship would they make the extra effort to keep me in their life?", "Am I always having to be the one to reach out and make plans?". 

   For the longest time I made friendships with people who did not care about our relationship as much as I did. I was always the one to reach out first, I always showed more interest in them, and I was never my best friend's best friend. However I did not notice. It wasn't until my freshman year of high school I realized none of the people I called my friends really made an effort to be close to me. I noticed no one ever texted me first, no one ever asked me to make plans. It made me think "If I fell off the face of the Earth would anyone even notice?", "If I had to go to the hospital would anyone visit?", "If I moved away would anyone make an effort to stay friends with me?"

    I began to feel that I deserved to have better friends. Friends that equally cared about me and made me feel like I was in the center of their world. I decided to switch schools before sophomore year without telling anyone. I felt like it was the best decision that I go to a new school with new people and find new friends that I know I deserve to have. And if the friends I think I have actually care about me then they will make the effort to stay friends even if I went to a different school 10 minutes away. 

    On the first day of school of sophomore year I did not show up, but instead showed up at a new school. That day I received texts from 3 assumed friends asking me where I was. I responded saying I did not have a good experience the previous year and felt that I did not fit in. After all, no one made an effort to make plans with me all summer even though I asked people to hangout. I was right to start at a new school because it turned out that no one ever called or texted to make plans to keep me in their life. This brought into light that the people I thought who have been my friends for the past few years were never truly real friends. 

    Throughout my next 3 years of high school I made 5 very close friends. We would hangout frequently, go to school dances, have sleepovers, and see each other over the summers. Switching schools was the best decision I very made and I finally found the friendships I truly deserved to have. I have people that care about me and truly make me feel like a part of the center of their world.  

    Which is exactly what you deserve. You deserve to feel equally loved in your relationships. Because you deserve to have people in your life that will do anything to keep you. It is important that you feel appreciated, loved, and valued by all the people in your life. If you are in a relationship where you feel that you are carrying all the weight of keeping that relationship alive take this as a sign to drop that weight. You should not be spending your time and energy on someone who is not spending their time and energy on you. If you value your self worth then you should know that you deserve better. Make it a point to that person and share your feelings to them of how they make you feel. The people in your life should value you. Always remember that what you give is what you deserve.